Getting Online Dating Right And Why It Doesn't Matter*

*This is a collaborative post*

They say if you stay single long enough, you'll get wiser about dating, so why is it that ten or twenty years into dating you can still experience those dating disasters? How can you miscalculate so insanely that the dark brooding six foot guy you swiped right on Tinder would arrive to a cinema date in a pair of joggers and a coupon. Leaving you wondering are you really getting wiser? Should you have known better at this point or is the world of online dating making it harder for anyone to be an expert?

Dating apps have changed the game, suddenly to speak to that guy or girl you've been crushing on you have to wait in hope that a swipe right provides you with the permission to do so, gone are the days you could buy them a drink from the bar and let that peppy bartender do the talking to break the ice. Creating dating profiles filters down the specific type of individual a person is interested in too... so as soon as someone states they're looking for a high earner, it doesn't matter how much charm or personality you have that ordinarily would have won them over... you can't tick that high earner box so you won't be on their radar.

So all this leads to a new style of dating, I call it the stabbing in the dark method. Obviously you've already seen something in a person that attracts you physically to them, so that base is covered at least. Beyond that though, excluding a brief profile of interests (which let's be honest, are hardly ever honest!) you really don't know anything about that other person. So you're not to blame when you arrive at the date, to find the most intellectual conversation they can form revolves around their pecs, or when they eat with their hands on a first date. These aren't things a profile is going to tell you, and you just have to learn them as the night goes on.

Most people will know within an hour if you're planning on taking the date further, whether that's further into the night or into more dates... and that's fine. You've misjudged, you're not an expert, you're no wiser in dating then you were when you tried to awkwardly smile at the guy from the smoking area in the bar back in 99', it doesn't matter. Take everything in, enjoy the evening to its fullest. Drink your drink and remember that you don't want to see this guy again... so what does it matter if you get drunk in front of him? Let him talk about his pecs, let him use the coupons, let him do all the things that are making you cringe. By the morning it'll be over and and by the weekend you can sit at brunch and laugh hysterically with your friends at every little detail that could have been agony had you decided to take it seriously. By the time you're in your 40's, reminiscing about it all, just remember, its cannon fodder for your hilarious autobiography detailing what it was like to be a single during the wake of the age of dating apps, and how before everyone had it figured out, you were wildly stabbing in the dark hoping that eventually you would get it right. 

After all, you only need to get it right once right?

No matter where you live, there's a dating site for you! Why not try one of these?

Aberdeen dating site, Norfolk dating site, over 50s dating Northamptonshire, over 50s dating Devon and Sheffield dating site.

*Written by Jason Machin

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