Looking back at any of my journals, you'll see just how naive I was as a teen. The long lists of dreams now seem ridiculously over ambitious and some down right impossible. Even more so when I remember just how fearful I was of life back then. Goodness knows how I planned to do half of the stuff when I wouldn't even say boo to a goose. Many years have passed now so I thought it would be interesting to write a list of twelve things I would tell my sixteen year old self if I could.
1. You won't be married before the age of thirty and that's okay. Hell if you never get married that's okay too!
2. Stop being so afraid of boys. They're not an alien species although some might argue with that. Try talking to one once in a while. They don't bite.
3. The world isn't as scary as you think. Sure it's a scary place at times, but there's also a lot of good going on. Try and have a little faith in humanity. People will often surprise you.
4. Just because you argue with a person, that doesn't mean the friendship/relationship is over. People do row and it's completely normal.
5. You're not going to be able to change the world by yourself. Although changing the world frequents most of your goals lists, you need to accept that you can only do your bit.
6. Pretty soon you're going to be diagnosed with GAD. Later on down the line you'll also be diagnosed with OCD and depression. This doesn't mean you're a crazy person or a psycho. Ignore anyone that makes you feel as such. Yes you're going to have a really tough seventeen years ahead of you but once you come out on the other side you'll be stronger for it. Do not give up. Likewise, when someone tells you to 'snap out of it,' I'd advise stamping on their foot and running away! A joke obviously but I would indeed consider cutting anyone out of your life that brings you down. You don't need that shit.
7. You're going to start a blog. You don't even know what one is right now but trust me you're going to love it. It's going to give you a much needed confidence boost and you'll also get to know many like minded individuals. Some of whom will become really good friends.
8. Sadly, you're never going to be a Spice Girl (or any other pop star for that matter.) Sweetheart you just can't carry a tune! Do the world a favour and give that dream up.
9. You are not going to become a millionaire by writing a best selling novel. In fact you're going to have a love/hate relationship with your writing for many years to come as you battle with your mental health. Although writing has always been cathartic for you, don't force it. It will come naturally when it's ready. Oh and there are much quicker ways to get rich than writing a novel. Sorry to burst your bubble.
10. A bespectacled young boy called Harry is going to take the literary world by storm. Words like 'muggle' will become a part of daily life for a while. As will running at walls in the train station. Do not try this at home unless you're a descendant from a witch/wizard! :)
11. You'll make mistakes as you go along in life but you're only human. Treat them as a lesson learned and move on. Don't beat yourself up.
12. You're not going to be a teacher. Although you're going to college next week to enrol for your A-levels you'll panic and change your mind last minute. You'll end up doing a hairdressing and beauty course but this won't be your career path either. By some fluke (or maybe fate) you'll end up working for a dental practice where you'll stay. There you will grow and learn more about yourself and life than you realised was possible. You'll also meet some girls who will become your friends for life. Helen, Zoë, Dani, Tracy and the rest... :)
If you got this far, I hope you enjoyed reading. What do you wish you could tell your sixteen year old self? I could have carried on this list forever but that would make for a very long blog post. Have a fabulous week. I'm off for pizza!
Lots of love Justine xxx
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