Hand in Hand: Working Together as a Parental Team*

*This is a collaborative post*

Being a parent is tough. The minute your child comes along, it can expose significant relationship problems, and make you think that the balance isn't there. And if you and your partner aren't on the same page, or you feel the only one of you is doing the work, learning to be a team is the only way to truly make a success of raising a healthy and happy child. How can you do this?

Get Rid of the Resentment

It's so important to support each other. The fact of the matter is that there are parents who have divorced that still raise healthy and happy children. And despite the myriad of divorce solicitors and legal issues, the two parents have worked through their issues for the benefit of the child. And this is something to remember. If you are resenting the other person, this doesn't help the process. If divorced couples can come to an agreement, you can as well. But you have to get rid of any form of resentment. And you can do this by supporting them in how they are dealing with the child. But in addition to this, you might need to recognise when they are struggling and might need more help. Sometimes, we can feel that in order to get our point across, we've got to leave them to struggle. And simmering resentment can build up over the years, which is not healthy. 

Divide and Conquer

As parents, you are in this together, and it is a fantastic motto to have. When you incorporate this, this can help to divide the duties in an almost equal measure. If you are the driver, you have one responsibility there, but if your partner books the doctors appointments, while you read them bedtime stories, it's about putting all of these duties together and making sure that there is a clear division of labour. Going back to the previous point of not being resentful, having an equal amount of duties will help, but you won't be able to get everything 50/50. And this is why you need to remember that there will be things that one person is more naturally able to do than the other. And when you fall into these natural duties, it should balance out, possibly not in terms of time or effort, but the equality will still be there.

Showing Gratitude

A little thanks goes a long way. If you are not showing gratitude that your partner has done something, this can look like you are taking everything for granted. When it comes to looking after the children, if your partner has done something that was your job, be grateful for it. It is a perfect way to encourage gratitude in the family on the cultural level. And your children will see that being grateful is a little thing that will make everybody a little bit happier.

It is so important that you both need to work as a team. It gives you both the opportunity to look out for each other, but also identify when the other person needs help.


*Contributed by Sam Jones. Photo source Image - CC0 Licence 


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