It's Okay To Be Alone After A Break-Up*

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*This is a collaborative post*

Have you ever wondered why recently divorced people jump into new relationships so quickly? It happens all the time. You get a wedding invite to so and so’s wedding even though their divorce was only finalized four and a half minutes ago. It’s baffling. But we recently sat down and thought about the reasons why, and it is to do with fear. The biggest reason divorcees rush into another relationship is because they are scared of living alone again.

This is totally understandable. You get so used to married life, the little routines, the constant noise in the house, the shared experiences and all of that. You just get so used to being with someone, and then suddenly you have to face the world alone. As if divorce isn’t as stressful, isolating, lonely, and scary enough on its own!

But spending some time alone after divorce is so important. It’s empowering. It brings about reflection and understanding, self-worth and self-love. Of course, being alone is not easy, which is why we have come up with some top tips to help you through the transition.

Don’t Worry About The Future So Much


One of the most daunting things to get your head around when staring down the barrel of life alone is the future, and whether you will still be alone at 78. This is such a common thought to have. But who cares? You are alone now. Who knows what the future will bring. Besides, you were alone before you got married and you coped, and that was with way less life experience. Just focus on you, the rest will follow.


This Could Be The Start Of A New Adventure


Try new things. It is as simple as that. Just say yes to things, do things you’ve always wanted to do or face challenges that have always remained on the other side of your fears. This is your chance to get to know you. Go traveling by yourself or, if you’re invited, go traveling with someone else. If a friend suggests you try out a senior dating site, don’t be offended, just give it a go. You’ll never feel alone if you embrace new things, that’s a guarantee! Perhaps you could start a new hobby or even enrol on a course? Maybe even train and run a marathon if you feel like it. Do anything and everything!


Get Rid Of The Word No


This is a great way to embrace your new life, your new freedom, your new status of alone. If you’re invited to a dinner party, say yes. If you’re invited to go to the salon or even just grocery shopping, give yourself a little push and say you'll go too. Saying no to things will only increase your feeling of loneliness as time goes by. You’re not feeling too tired so don’t say you are. And even if you are, who cares, you can sleep tomorrow. Just get out of the house, even if the invite is something that does not interest you. Busy yourself, not because it will take your mind off the divorce but because it will help you start living your life again.


*This post was contributed by Sam Jones


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